Offering Birth Control Pills to our CHILDREN?
Posted by angela on 10/18/07 in Domestic Ramblings
A controversial proposal at a Maine middle school would offer birth control pills or patches for girls. - How young is too young for birth control?
“The students will need a parent’s written permission to access any services provided, but they would not have to disclose which service they receive, a point of contention for some.”
Let’s teach our kids how to lie to their parents so they can get their hands on birth control pills. That makes perfect sense!
:: note the sarcasm ::
What is wrong with some parents these days? What is wrong with our healthcare professionals? What is wrong with talking about sex and what can happen as a result of having sex?
It’s bad enough that Human Growth and Developmental classes had to be implemented because parents don’t want OR know how to teach their kids about basic information regarding their own development as well as feelings about sex, etc.
Don’t get me wrong, I am for Human Growth and development and Sex education type classes because let’s face it we don’t all have the educational background OR the information necessary to discuss every little detail.
But, come on…? Do we have to give our 10, 11, 12, and 13 year olds free access to birth control? If parents in Oregon can’t take a few minutes to fulfill their parenting roll then maybe Child Protective Services should step in and place these kids with families that will care for them instead of relying on the schools to teach kids to lie.
:: personal rant about to begin ::
My daughter goes to school with a girl who’s Mom let’s her boyfriend spend the night at their house. Remember that story? - Would you let your 15 year old’s boyfriend spend the night???
Ok, so I’m a little ticked off right now. It’s time for me to put the coffee away, go get in the shower and start my day!! I’m not even going to dwell on this OR let it ruin my day. It is nice to be able to blog it though, eh?
I’d LOVE to know what your thoughts are on all of this.
tag this
Rebecca | Oct 18, 2007 | Reply
Why is any SCHOOL giving out birth control - school nurses (while very well trained) are NOT doctors - before birth control is given to ANYONE (regardless of age) a proper medical exam needs to be done - this is simply moronic on every level.
Kit | Oct 18, 2007 | Reply
11. 12. 13.
This is NOT about parents teaching children about sex, or failing to teach them.
If an 11 yo is asking for birth control, SOMEONE has taught her about sex !
My question is, when did ELEVEN become the age of consent ?!?
When did it become a good idea to make EASIER for pedophiles to easily abuse their victims ?
“Examining California data, Males and his colleague Kenneth Chew reported that “adult post-school men father two thirds of the infants born to school-age mothers and average 4.2 years older than the senior-high mothers and 6.7 years older than the junior-high mothers.” More alarmingly, they found that the younger the girl, the wider the age gap. Roughly half of the babies born to 15-year-old mothers were fathered by adult men no longer in school.”
Read the studies - why are we enabling child abuse ??????
angela | Oct 18, 2007 | Reply
In my opinion if an adult can not parent their child and teach them right from wrong or basic human growth and development subject matter that is age appropriate and their child is requesting birth control then maybe it’s time for child protective services to get involved.
Dana | Oct 18, 2007 | Reply
Child protective services? I may be thinking something that you are not meaning by that, but I think that is a bit extreme.
This program does not exist because parents are not teaching their children about sex. I don’t think sex ed programs exist because parents aren’t teaching their children about sex.
They exist because the people in control of these programs do not like what parents are teaching their children about sex. That is why people complain about parental rights in these cases.
We haven’t gone quite as wiggy as Europe, but we are heading that direction. In their programs, I don’t think it really is even sexual education anymore…it is about sensual education. Why else would you teach kindergarteners this song, which is part of the sex ed program in Germany:
“When I look at my body and touch it
I always discover what all is unique to me
We have a vagina
Because we are girls.
It is here under the tummy
Between my legs.
It is not just there for urination,
And when I touch it, yes, yes,
Then it tickles very nice.
You can say, “No,”
You can say, “Yes,”
You can say, “Stop,” or
“Again, just like that.”
“I don’t like that.”
“I like that a lot.”
“Oho, do it more like that.”"
Allowing a fifteen year old to have her boyfriend spend the night is in line with what these people are advocating. After all, it is a child’s right, and the parent should not be allowed to interfere (according to them).
Here are some quotes from Americans:
“Sex is a wonderful, crucial part of growing up, and children and teens can enjoy the pleasures of the body and be safe, too. In this important and controversial book, Judith Levine makes this argument and goes further, asserting that America’s attempts to protect children from sex are worse than ineffectual. It is the assumption of danger and the exclusive focus on protection—what Levine terms “the sexual politics of fear”—that are themselves harmful to minors.”
Harmful to Minors, the Perils of Protecting Children from Sex by Judith Levine
Look at how teaching modesty and keeping your children from having sexual contact with each other is viewed by Robert Francoer in Human Sexuality, an Encyclopedia:
“Generally, her task has been to discourage sexual self-stimulation, inhibit sexual impulses toward family members, supervise and thus frustrate attempts at sexual play with peers, and teach children to be wary of strangers. Her task, generally with the full support of her husband, includes information control. The family attempts to govern how, when, and how many of the “facts of life” the child learns. As part of the conspiracy of silence, parents maintain a secrecy and privacy concerning their own sexual activity. Sears indicates a number of methods used as aids to sexual control in the home (e.g., closed bedroom doors, separate sleeping arrangements for each child, separate bathing, and early modesty training). Such methods have an implicit goal of keeping dormant the young child’s pervasive curiosity and imitativeness, postponing the onset of sexual self-gratification, and limiting sexual activity.”
Don’t be so quick to assume that when you here distorted portrayals of parents pulling their children out of sex ed programs that it is about denying access to basic information. We are attempting to preserve our children from a worldview that is saying that sex is ok for children.
Samantha | Oct 18, 2007 | Reply
I used to work with a guy that was 20 and dating a 14 year old. They were trying to have a baby cause “they were in looooove”. And both parents ENCOURAGED IT!!!!!!The first kid was born when she was 15. 21 years old with a six year old son? Oh, Come ON!
If your 20 years old a dating a junior high student, something is SERIOUSLY wrong with you. At least wait ’til they’re 18!!
Jenny | Oct 18, 2007 | Reply
That’s insane. Why would they do that? I hope they get caught and stopped.
not for this one | Oct 18, 2007 | Reply
I listed the way I did not because I do things socially unacceptable I do not. But, my opinion is that society is not taking notice of something. Our children are deciding for themselves how old is old enough for sex. We may not like it but it is true.
At least that school district is doing something to limit teen pregnancy. What have you done? Talk to your daughter? Right, my nieces, that I helped raise, said that they wanted vergin weddings. It has only been a month since the oldest turned 18. She changed her mind and is now living with her boy friend.
I am not sure of her verginity on that 18th birthday. I know what she told me, my mom (her grand-mother), my sister (her mother) ect. but not whether or not she was telling us the truth or what she thought we wanted to hear.
The county I live in has one of the highest teen pregnancy rates in the country. I use public transportation (busses) so I get to see a wide slice of teen life. I regularly see 12 to 14 year old girls who show the clear unmistakable signs of not having birth control provided to them. You think that those girls parents were lax? I know some of them. I still can not figure out how some of these girls got pregnant. Their parents tried to leave them no time in which to have sex. It did not work.
It brings to mind an old sexest saying: “Old enough to bleed, old enough to breed”
I have come to have the opinion that it is simple biology. Parents generally forget that they slapped their 6 months old hand for self-plessuring. We tend to forget the time we punished our child for playing “show my yours and….” How old were they 5… 7yo? This is not simple curiosity that we pass it off as. We know that this is sexual behaviors.
We can not change human nature by legislating it we can however attempt to limit the damage and disiminate both information and birth control.
Michelle | Oct 18, 2007 | Reply
I am 15 and in 10th grade. Still a virgin- never even got close to losing it. I am also definitely keeping my virginity until marriage, and though it is kinda hard for him, my boyfriend respects that.
May I say something about this?
What is wrong with parents and schools lately? They blame the teens (or in case PREteens!?!?!) for lying to them, for getting into things that they don’t understand. Yet is it in fact the kid’s fault? If these kids were raised right, by the parents and the districts, they would know better, they would know the facts, and they would care about their own health. My mom talked to me about sex when I was younger. She didn’t leave it to the school. I think that I turned out pretty well. However, I never had to go through school nurses showing me birth control having me ‘keep sex away from parents.’ Saying its okay to have sex, just don’t let your parents find out. What happened to schools teaching kids to avoid peer pressure? Not to avoid talking to their parents!
This is really making me angry. This better change soon, because when I have a family I don’t want my kids raised like that!
Kit | Oct 18, 2007 | Reply
Angela , when an adult male seduces a 11 -13 yo, and she goes to get birth control, blame her parents ???
ptg | Oct 19, 2007 | Reply
In this discussion, I hear many different opinions as to how folks should raise their kids, but very little about the two aspects that concern me.
First, I’m against the public schools doing anything to or for the kids in their charge without getting the parent’s consent. Second, does anyone know what the long term health effects of administering powerful hormones to girls that are still developing?
The nanny-state people would take parenting responsibilities away from parents, then blame the same parents when their do-good busybody schemes don’t work.
Birth control pills have only been available for a few decades. The first women to use them are only now reaching full maturity (60+). The verdict still isn’t in on the long-term effects. Why experiment on the little ones?
Parents who pimp for their teen and pre-teen girls (letting their boyfriends sleep over, etc.) are only raising the next generation of welfare moms and ghetto kids. This plays right into the hands of the nanny-staters like Hillary Clinton.
angela | Oct 19, 2007 | Reply
I don’t think that child protective services is too extreme at all and especially if the child is being taken advantage of inappropriately by an adult or family member in the home. The parent has to give permission for the child to be seen at the school health clinic. I would assume that a good parent would be interested in knowing why their child would want to go to the clinic.
What right does the school clinic have to automatically become that child’s doctor and provide birth control without even an exam? What if the child was raped? What if the parent doesn’t care about what their child is doing and knows they are getting on birth control? This entire situation is disturbing to me.
I’m not surprised about how Germany presents their sex education program. I used to live in Germany and for the most part Europeans are pretty open about sex. Their regular television programming would be like our adult HBO shows. It’s sad really.
Dana – I am not against human growth and development classes presenting age appropriate material to our kids in school. I am against abstinence only programs that will not provide information about other ways to stay safe from sexually transmitted diseases and/or pregnancy. I believe all the information should be presented. It’s the parent’s job to take it a step further if they so choose. They also have the option in most schools to have their child do a study hall OR library class during certain subjects with which the teacher can exempt a student from participation in certain discussions. I don’t have a problem with that either.
Samantha – I agree that if a 20 year old is “dating” a 14 year old something is seriously wrong. I could have sworn that behavior was against the law, right? I wonder how they are getting away with this.
Hi not-for-this one – you can list any way that you want to. I do understand the need for privacy when discussing hot topics and I don’t mind that you used an alias in order to participate. I’m afraid that there are children being abused and/or molested by an adult and now there is just one more way to cover up the abuse that is being done to children. And no, the parents were not involved enough if they are giving their child permission to see the school nurse without following through on what that visit is about. The next thing you know the age of “18” and “21” will be reduced to “13” and “16” … is that what you want? What is it that you want exactly OR do you like the fact that a child can go behind their parents’ back and do whatever they want to? Or should we not care that some adult out there is committing crimes against our children and now there is just one more way to cover it up…? There are also legal as well as medical ramifications to what this middle school is doing.
Michelle – thank you for speaking out on this! It takes a lot of guts for teens to voice their opinions on hot topics such as this one. I personally think you have the right idea!
Kit – I blame the parents and I blame the adult male who should then be arrested, booked/charges, and stay in jail for a long time!
angela | Oct 19, 2007 | Reply
Hi PTG – You must have posted your comment right before I posted mine and before I had a chance to refresh the page.
I completely agree with what you stated in your response. Incidentally, I don’t allow my daughter to have anything to do with the girl who’s Mom lets her boyfriend spend the night. I have since heard that her Mom has put her on birth control.
The whole thing is deplorable.
Kit | Oct 19, 2007 | Reply
Angela, it’s a very naive perspective to blame the parents when a child has been molested or abused if they don’t have a clue it’s going on.
These men who predate on little girls are very good at rationalizing and scaring these kids into cooperating with them, and LYING for them.
Do you honestly believe that simply asking a 11 , 12, or 13 yo a question means you’ll get an honest answer if that child is being used , manipulated, and threatened by an adult abuser ?
All this service does is make easier for the molester to get away with his crimes.
Parents who believe that ‘this could never happen to my child’ or ‘my kid would ALWAYS tell me’ are seen in therapist’s offices and police stations every day in shock, in tears, wracked with guilt over not being able to read minds and horrified to learn that their child has been a victim of a child abuser.
Offering birth control to kids helps shield molesters and removes even MORE of a parent’s right to know that might prevent these horrible predators from getting away with their crimes.
Predators WANT you to believe you don’t need to know what’s going on with your kids - that your kids will always tell you everything - children in these homes are MUCH easier targets, and it’s so sad.
angela | Oct 19, 2007 | Reply
Kit – I couldn’t agree w/you more. I don’t blame the parents in those cases where they didn’t know. I do blame the parents that know about this new proposal at the middle school and do not take issue with it. I blame the parents who allow their 15-year-old’s boyfriends to spend the night. I hope you see the difference. I know there are a lot of points and perspectives being commented on and just needed to be clearer on where I’m at with all of this. Thanks for understanding…
Calvin Warr | Oct 19, 2007 | Reply
Blame?? This is not about blame! Anyone talking about blame is missing the whole point.This is about education, values, self respect and respecting others. By proposing birth control, are schools throwing in the towel? Have our education failed so badly that we are taking the worse case scenario (kids having sex) as a given? I have 2 kids who are teens. They know what is right and wrong. Sure, the school did do the sex-ed thing. But on our part, we have been discussing these issues for many years thru its various stages with our kids. If we love our kids, we should not chuck the responsibility of teaching and raising them right to the schools. Neither should we allow the schools to get away with taking the easy way out and totally missing the whole point of education. So what do we do when we face insurmountable problems? Commit suicide?
jafabrit | Oct 19, 2007 | Reply
Since parental permission is already needed, then what is the point when parents can already get the pill for their child through their ob or planned parenthood office. I don’t think kids need this plan to get birth control easier, they can lie and get it elsewhere. When they say parents permission are they just relying on a note or are they following up with a phone call to the parent?
Personally I feel the school should stay away from this and focus on education (which involves the legal and health issues of having sex) and the importance of visiting an obgyn/nurse practitioner who can help
answer questions and guide her through options (whether that be the pill, abstinence, etc).
As for this helping shield predators, as a victim of a predator I can assure you this plan wouldn’t work one bit. A predator wouldn’t even encourage a girl to go and get birth control (it would invite questions), he can supply it himself.
angela | Oct 19, 2007 | Reply
Jafabrit - parental permission is required to see the school nurse for anything. So a child could get permission to take Tylenol and then decide since she is in there to go ahead and talk about other things with which the school would not have to inform the parents of.
If a child predator has control over his victim he/she can pretty much get that child to do anything and keep it a secret. How do you think these things work?
angela | Oct 19, 2007 | Reply
I don’t think people are reading the linked article at all. So I will go ahead and do a C&P below just in case it gets deleted from the original source later on:
Oct. 17, 2007
Parents and school officials are preparing to battle tonight in a debate about the sexual health of children at one Maine school district.
Administrators at a Portland middle school are considering a bold proposal that would allow students to access a broader range of contraceptives from the school’s health center.
King Middle School’s health center already provides condoms as part of its reproductive health program, implemented after five of the 135 students who visited the center last year reported being sexually active.
Prescriptions for birth control pills and patches would be included in the new measure, which has become a lightning rod for controversy in the area.
“We do certainly sit down and speak with them about why that’s not a good choice,” said Portland’s school nurse coordinator Amanda Rowe of sexually active students. “But there are some who persist, even though we don’t like to think about that in being sexually active, and they need to be protected.”
The school’s female students are in grades six to eight and range from ages 11 to 13.
“It will provide a means of making sure you don’t get pregnant and ruin your school career and limit yourself in the future,” Rowe said.
The students will need a parent’s written permission to access any services provided, but they would not have to disclose which service they receive, a point of contention for some.
“They are sending mixed messages. In the state of Maine it is illegal to have sex under the age of 14,” said cable talk show host and ABC News commentator Glen Beck on “Good Morning America” today. “You are enabling people.”
Beck argued that the plan makes it too easy for girls to have sex and takes power away from the parent, a sentiment some parents agree with.
“I don’t think I would want my child in middle school to be getting birth control pills unless I had something to do with it,” one woman said.
But others said they believe the proposal is a good idea because some parents feel uncomfortable in the role of sexual educator.
“Parents should be the sex educator for their children,” said sexologist and relationship expert Logan Levkoff on “Good Morning America” today. “The problem is not every parent feels empowered [to do so].”
One mother said she believed the idea may be on the right track.
“I think that education at that age is appropriate because our culture is saturated with messages about sex,” the woman said.
jafabrit | Oct 19, 2007 | Reply
>>If a child predator has control over his victim he/she can pretty much get that child to do anything and keep it a secret. How do you think these things work?>The students will need a parent’s written permission to access any services provided, but they would not have to disclose which service they receive, a point of contention for some.
jafabrit | Oct 19, 2007 | Reply
Yes, I know, I was a victim for a few years.You want me to share the details of how predators work? It ain’t pretty! I also worked as a crisis counselor for 7 years and worked with victims of predators. So I stand by my statement:I don’t see this program as a major means of shielding predators. They don’t need this program to get a child to go on the pill, they can supply them themselves.
So no I don’t support this program for a variety of reasons, but the least compelling one based on my life and work experience is the predator one.
angela | Oct 19, 2007 | Reply
Essentially the students are being taught how to circumvent their parents. They need permission but do not have to disclose which service they receive. In other words, I child can see I need permission to get Tylenol at school today and then turn around and access a completely different service w/out notification to the parent.
Plus, the school has no business handing out birth control pills to little girls that have never been examined by a doctor. They don’t even have access to their health records NOR do they understand the child’s health issues.
If a child is having sex it’s not likely they are doing it with little joey down the street. What about the children that are being abused by an adult? Is it lawful for children that young to have sex? If it is lawful for children that young to have sex then were do we draw the line for abuse?
Yes, children in middle school are being abused by adults. Where is the proper intervention for that if they are busy handing out birth control?
Kit | Oct 19, 2007 | Reply
Angela, that does clarify quite a bit- I do believe that parents need to start with the way they handle things at home, and even if they are confident that they are being good parents, step up and be involved at the schools , so that these programs helping predators remain a secret are tossed for programs actually helping the CHILD.
kathylynn | Oct 19, 2007 | Reply
I just wrote blogged about this on my site. It has me in an uproar today! Leave my children alone.
not for this one | Oct 19, 2007 | Reply
Angela, you are missing something. The average child having sex is NOT having it with an adult. At least not an adult by legal definition. Remember we as humans do not like to admit that we are animals so we hedge what we say, talk around the fact that we have instincts and that a “child” has a sex drive the same as an “adult.”
We talk a lot about “raging” hormones in teens, yet we forget that the chemical changes in the brain and elsewhere in the body begins at about age 7 to 9 and we do not see the results till around age 12. Those same chemicals testostoron (sp?), progesteron (sp?) have been in the body since birth but only in much smaller quantities and in balance with one another.
Most adults refrain from doing things that can land them in jail cells. I for one very much limit this risk. We however make exceptions for children. While it may be illegal for a 12 yo to have sex we are not going to send him/her to a prison for it. Short of radical procedures, like aversion therapy, we are not going to change the behaviors caused by the chemical nature, and there for instinctive behavior, of any animal, including the human one.
You will notice that I do not put blame on anyone. In fact I am going to point out one more fact. In our history we were a lot more accepting of these facts. The average age for a girl getting married in the 1820s (or most any decade up till the 1870s)in the USA was 14. The reason was simple. Not just that men wanted young women, we still do (my prefered age range is 20 to 30 but I will look at both younger and older women with longing), but that no one wanted out of wedlock pregnancy to spoil the reputation of their families.
We now have no problem with admiting that adults have sex out of wedlock but we want to deny that “children” have the same needs and desires. We say things like “I would not want to repeat adolecents again” and admit that it is because of the out of whack hormones but we say that those suffering with it should not give in. lol We gave in. I have news for anyone who does not believe it we did. I played look out for couples from like the 6th grade (11 or 12 yo) through out the 8th grade (13 or 14 yo). I am now 41 and will be 42 in a month.
We have the same problems now that we did then. It is time that we admited that they need to be solved and that solving them means admiting things that we have long wanted to deny about human nature.
not for this one | Oct 19, 2007 | Reply
Sorry for my last post if it seems like an attack on Angela. I was responding to several posters and only hit her name. Again, Angela, I am sorry.
kathylynn | Oct 19, 2007 | Reply
Like I said earlier leave my children alone. These kids are not allowed to be kids any longer. They are forced to grow up so early. My goodness just turn on the t.v. and at any given moment you will see SEX. What’s right for my child may not be right for yours but please let me decide what is right. I feel much better now. LOL
angela | Oct 20, 2007 | Reply
Not for this one - don’t agree with you and I don’t think I ever will. I’m w/Kathylynn - they need to leave our kids alone and the parents need to step it up a notch.
Know what your kids are doing and teach them right from wrong. Watch out for child predators and stay away from the “if it feels good do it” mentality.
That middle school in Maine is in for a world of hurt if they succeed in handing out birth control via the school nurses office.
kathylynn | Oct 20, 2007 | Reply
Angela, I couldn’t have said it better myself!
*Marie* | Oct 20, 2007 | Reply
Yes, I heard about that.
Not sure what my opinion about it is yet - whether I am for or against it. I do feel though, that it is sad people feel they have to result to these measures to reduce the youth pregnancy rate.
-Marie
jafabrit | Oct 20, 2007 | Reply
Marie, What turns me away from supporting this (apart from the fact that I think young women should be encouraged to talk to their own obgyn or encouraged find one) is the fact that parents won’t know what meds their child is on. It is imperative for health reasons that not only parents, but their family doctor know what medications a child is taking.
*Marie* | Oct 20, 2007 | Reply
Yes that is a very good point.
Tara V | Oct 20, 2007 | Reply
I am a mother of 4 and have always talked to my children about the dreaded topic of “sex”. I think when a parent talks to their children honestly about the subject and the cons of doing it, many children not only listen but also talk to their parents about their feelings.
If anyone gave one of my daughters birth control, I would freak out. If my daughter was taking it, I better be the first to know!
I do not understand how they can just give children birth control. That seems like they are saying … Ok go do…
Texas Truth | Oct 20, 2007 | Reply
Why don’t they just set up rooms that can be used by the hour. Perhaps allow the students with good grades to get a discount for the rental fees. OPPS…SORRY…They will probablty let them use the rooms for free!!!
Horatio E. | Oct 20, 2007 | Reply
Wow, I don’t know when I became my parents, but issuing birth control pills to middle school kids is SO wrong!
As a father to 3 girls (12, 9, and 5). I find it appalling that this subject is even up for discussion! Has society given up on parenting their children? Have we forgotten to teach our children the importance of self-worth and self-control? I think the Information Age died after 9/11 and we have been living in the Mis-Information of America Age! It’s 1:00pm on a Monday in America people, do you know if your 11 year-old is having sex right now or not? If you can’t answer that question, I think you have bigger problems than what you’re having for dinner! Get your mind your mind right and if you know better - then do better!
Horatio E. | Oct 20, 2007 | Reply
Wow, I don’t know when I became my parents, but issuing birth control pills to middle school kids is SO wrong!
As a father to 3 girls (12, 9, and 5). I find it appalling that this subject is even up for discussion! Has society given up on parenting their children? Have we forgotten to teach our children the importance of self-worth and self-control? I think the Information Age died after 9/11 and we have been living in the Mis-Information of America Age! It’s 1:00pm on a Monday in America people, do you know if your 11 year-old is having sex right now or not? If you can’t answer that question, I think you have bigger problems than what you’re having for dinner! Get your mind right and if you know better - then do better!
Horatio E. | Oct 20, 2007 | Reply
Sorry about the duplicate posts. PC froze on me and I hit the “submit” button twice.
kathylynn | Oct 21, 2007 | Reply
Texas Truth you have me cracked up. The sad thing is that is right where we are headed if we don’t put a stop to this.
Jess | Oct 21, 2007 | Reply
I am totally against birth control in the schools. I firmly believe this is something that should be talked about at home, openly and honestly. The school and the government have no place in this discussion. I would hope that as a parent, I have the kind of relationship with my children where they can come to me and discuss birth control.
Thing 1 is 12 and we have already had the talk with him. DH and I both told him how important it was for him to wait until he finds the right person. We also told him that when he was ready to make that step we wanted him to be protected. We did the whole shooting match, pregnancy to AIDS.
This is our discussion to have with our children and if need be, it is our place to make sure they are protected. Not the schools. Not the government.
dee | Oct 21, 2007 | Reply
When I first heard about this I thought I heard wrong. Then I did a search and today I just came across this column. The author gives an insightful commentary and really makes you say to yourself, what is really motiviating this.
here is the link, i highly recommend it
http://joeleonardi.wordpress.com/2007/10/21/birth-control-for-children/
eek | Oct 22, 2007 | Reply
Dana posted this in her comment:
“We haven’t gone quite as wiggy as Europe, but we are heading that direction.”
I think we should be headed in that direction. The average age of first intercourse in the US is 15.8 years. In Germany it’s 16.2; France it’s 16.8; and in the Netherlands it’s 17.
And our teen-aged pregnancy rates are even worse. For teens aged 15-18 the birth rate per 1000 is 40.4 in the US; 16.1 in Australia; 14.5 in Canada; 11 in Germany; 7.8 in France; 5.6 in Japan; and 4.6 in the Netherlands.
Seems to me Germany and it’s “wiggy” ways and most other industrialized nations are doing it right and we…aren’t. We need to get over our puritanical attitudes towards sex.
angela | Oct 22, 2007 | Reply
Since when did having sex become a childhood requirement?
jafabrit | Oct 22, 2007 | Reply
I also checked out the teen pregnancy rate in germany and it is a lot less than the usa. Not sure if that is due to prevention or birth control or education, but they must be doing something right. Not sure it is a matter of it being a childhood requirement angela, no! no! no! According to this article “European teens initiating sexual intercourse later than U.S. teenagers.”http://www.advocatesforyouth.org/news/press/1998/100198.htm
Gayla McCord | Oct 23, 2007 | Reply
My opinions:
1. I think schools should be offering condoms - but not the pill. Medication should be left to the parents or guardian.
2. If a 20 year old is seducing a 14 year old, where the hell are her parents and why are they not keeping an eye on her?
I’ve got four teens and I keep them on a very short leash! They don’t interact with anyone without my knowing it. We live one mile from school and I’m in constant contact with teachers and school faculty. I knew within minutes that my stepdaughter had been kissed on the cheek in the hall between classes in the middle of the day.
If I can keep that close of an eye on my kids, why can’t others?
3. Everyone wants to think it takes a village to raise a child, but when the village steps in, the parents bitch.
When my three boys are old enough to date, I want condoms available EVERY-friggin-where. Better safe than sorry!
When our daughter is old enough to date, she’ll get the shot. No forgetting to take a pill in this house!
angela | Oct 23, 2007 | Reply
A village has no place trying to raise my child. Especially when my parenting and belief system is being compromised. The village needs to butt out actually!
kathylynn | Oct 23, 2007 | Reply
Angela, I was just about to write the same thing!
eek | Oct 23, 2007 | Reply
Angela you keep saying “they need to leave our kids alone” so I have a question for you. If the school had two forms parents could choose to sign — one giving permission for their child to access services provided EXCEPT for birth control, and the other giving permisson for their child to access any service provided — and then the school would be required to follow those wishes, would you find that acceptable?
And Gayla McCord — yes I actually believe condoms are a better choice as they help prevent disease as well as pregnancy. Plus it makes the boys responsible for birth control/disease prevention instead of leaving it all on the girls. And it gets rid of the medication worry. (even if your daughter is on depro-provera — the shot — I encourage you to teach her about the use of condoms and provide them to her for disease prevention)
angela | Oct 23, 2007 | Reply
Hi eek!
If a parent wants to sign the form giving their child permission to access the health center at school for any reason.. then that is between that parent, the school, and that child. However, leave my child out of it.
Condoms do not prevent all diseases OR pregnancy 100% of the time. There are flaws and misuse of condoms as well as the fact that condoms do NOT cover the entire genital area which means essentially that not all diseases are preventable even w/condom use. If you would like for me to provide examples I would be more than happy to. :: wink wink ::
Horatio E. | Oct 23, 2007 | Reply
I do believe it does take a village to “help” raise a child. However, I don’t believe that means the “village” has the right to teach someone else’s child about birth control pills and other personal matters. That should be left solely up to the parent/guardians.
If you want to discuss the responsibilities of a “village” raising a child, that’s a whole different ball of wax.
*Marie* | Oct 23, 2007 | Reply
I want to mention something about the village and the child. Please keep in mind, this is MY opinion. You do not have to agree with it or like it. Also, I am not hear to offend anyone, so don’t take it that way.
I believe when it comes to parenting, it is the parents responsibility primarily. Things shouldn’t be “left” for a parent to handle. Teaching their children is the first priority for parents. On that note, it is the responsibility of the “village” to support that parent in their parenting. In this way, the parents and village would both have the best interest of the family unit in mind.
kristinaQ | Oct 23, 2007 | Reply
I responded to your other blog.. so I’m just going to copy and paste lol.
_________
Hey Angela,
Found you through MomGadget. I actually had responded to this issue on my blog as well.
From a parent’s perspective, I completely and totally agree with you… but it wasn’t so long ago that I was in middle school, and let me tell you, some of those girls and boys are no where near as angelic as their parents thought they were, or maybe it was just that their parents were irresponsible about explaining matters related to sex and the consequences of it when it came to the point that their children became curious. Well, it’s one of those two, or maybe those parents were just plain oblivious…
I don’t know if it’s the parent’s fault entirely, or if the kids were just like that… but as I remember it, kids who WANT to do it will do it.. whether or not they have the protection available.
.. But whatever that school district is doing they better be prepared to give counseling to these CHILDREN as well as the onslaught of complaints and maybe even lawsuit they’re bound to get from angry parents.
Personally, I’m going really do my best to make sure that when my son hits that stage he knows about all the possible consequences and reasons WHY he should wait until he’s more mature physically and emotionally and make sure he is confident enough about himself to make the right decision, which ideally would be after he’s done with college! lol
I know what you mean when you say that it’s pretty much encouraging our kids to lie to us.. hopefully this will open eyes and help people to realize that this IS an important topic to discuss with your child, and it can’t be ignored… because sooner or later that kid is going to start getting the raging hormones coursing through his/her veins.
Now what if my son, when he’s 15 or 16, asks me if he could stay over at his girlfriend’s house just for some random “sleepover” crap? Nahh, no effin way.. I won’t be buying that.
angela | Oct 24, 2007 | Reply
If the village wants to raise kids then they need to focus on the kids who’s parents don’t care.
Leave my kiddos to me!
Rayven | Oct 26, 2007 | Reply
What about STDs? Birth control pills don’t prevent STDs! Did that whole lesson get tossed out the window????!!!
“Oh Jenny, goody, you’re not pregnant, but we forgot to tell you you’ll have to live with herpes the rest of your life. Let’s blame the school.”
Ugh. Something is SERIOUSLY wrong here!!!
angela | Oct 28, 2007 | Reply
This is just one more reason to take the parenting away from the parents and leave it up to the schools.
Kids are in serious trouble if parents to have the balls to teach their kids right from wrong.
Find the thread on my blog that talks about how some parents let their child’s girlfriend/boyfriend spend the night.
I’m sure THAT will get your stomach churning for sure!
You don’t want to get me started on the entire STD topic so I won’t take you there.